Last week, I wrote about inspiration and comfort. It’s natural to seek comfort.
And at the same time, discomfort is an inevitable part of life. And, as much as possible, we’re better off learning to accept it rather than trying to avoid or deny or escape it.
We feel discomfort in our bodies, conversations, emotions, habits, relationships, situations, and more. Of course there are times when it’s essential to seek comfort, from things like physical pain for example.
And, still, a certain amount of discomfort is part of life.
I read this quote in an email newsletter just this morning:
“Enlightenment is absolute cooperation with the inevitable.”
~Anthony De Mello (Indian Jesuit priest and psychotherapist)
I’m not seeking enlightenment. I’m not even sure what it means. I am, however, seeking to live more at peace with the day-to-day ups and downs of life. And with the bigger ups and downs too. They’re all inevitable. Things don’t always go our way. In fact, they often don’t.
Last week, I got food poisoning. It was awful. Really awful. I wish I could have gone back in time and not eaten the offending item. But time travel hasn’t been invented yet, so I had to go through it. Through several hours of alternating chills and sweats, severe nausea, stomach cramps, vomiting, and diarrhea. Sorry for the information, dear readers. But, it’s true. Many of you have probably been in situations like that too. I cried and moaned a bit but mostly was too sick to even feel sorry for myself.
At some point, waiting for the next wave of what was coming, I decided to focus on my breath. In, out, in, out. It helped. I still had nausea and pain. I still got sick. Yet I was better able to ride the waves. This is nothing new, of course. I mean they taught it to us back in childbirth class. It’s just a tool that I haven’t used very effectively until recently. Some other tools I find helpful are: talking to a trusted friend or family member, crying, journaling, going on a walk, and connecting with nature (even if just through my numerous houseplants).
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The thing about discomfort is that it’s not always about things we’re trying to avoid, like sickness or loss or disappointment or anxiety or unwanted change.
Sometimes discomfort is about what we do want.
Sometimes it’s about doing something different or something new.
Sometimes it’s about change. Even the changes we want to make can be difficult and uncomfortable.
That doesn’t mean we should avoid them. Personally, I’ve had discomfort in the last couple of years in various ways: new job, new skills, new routines, new creative projects, and more. These are all things I pursued and wanted for myself and also each came with some discomfort.
Here, too, it’s important to seek support and tools to move through the necessary discomfort of pursuing the lives we want.
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I hope that maybe you found some camaraderie or recognition in this post, and a few helpful thoughts about discomfort too. We’re in this together.
As always, please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.
Thanks for reading!
With gratitude,
Mary
Covering all the ground!
Thanks for being a consistent voice and presence and encouraging others to share, Mary!
Before the Pandemic (can we start an acronym? B.P.?) I was part of an immersive yoga class. The teacher asked for a word or phrase to explain what motivated each of us to participate in this committed, long term class. My phrase was embrace discomfort. It sounds kind of masochistic but to me it meant accepting what is, welcoming all the circumstances and situations of life, letting them be teachers, at the same time softening, allowing, and cultivating awareness. Growth is available in discomfort. Opportunities are available in discomfort. Joseph Campbell said "Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves come when life seems most challenging." And in Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron (my favorite!) it says .... "the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and they fall apart again. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen."
This makes me think of making room for discomfort. The only thing constant is change. And change is uncomfortable.
It's been 5 years since the inception of that immersive yoga class, I'm still working with it!
Ooof! I saw the title and right away thought, yep - don't like it. I have weekly discomfort. Every Sunday morning I wake up with discomfort. I am trying to figure out how to address this weekly ritual of discomfort. I have it many other times too as I work through a lot of changes. I think I am in a decade of change. There is a lot being processed and revealed and it all requires some change, be it mental or physical. So, discomfort and I are good friends. Making decisions and making changes are uncomfortable. I've heard from a couple of trusted sources to welcome and embrace the discomfort. I understand the thought but I find this to be head/heart struggle. Great topic. One I will be working on for a while.