More on signs (& synchronicity)
We see what we look for...
Last week I wrote about signs, symbols, and rituals. Please check out that post as it’s quite relevant to the the holiday season, and it includes both a book and a movie recommendation too.
Spurred on by last week’s musings, I’ve been thinking more about signs and synchronicity.
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Sometimes the right message or sign comes to us just when we need it.
We might call that synchronicity.
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We tend to notice ideas or things that resonate with us more than those that don’t. So we receive a message because we happen to be looking for that particular message. It’s not necessarily that the universe or some higher power conspires to present that message, although I’m personally open to that possibility.
The thought that gives us more agency, however, is that we influence our thoughts and experiences by examining the content we cultivate in our minds. We are not our thoughts. And yet our thoughts can have a lot of impact on our lives.
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When I was in high school and especially in college, I told myself that I was going to bomb papers, projects, and tests. It’s a common enough defense mechanism. If I tell myself I’m not going to do well, then I won’t be disappointed if I don’t do well. In reality, I was a good student who usually aced my work. When the occasional “B” or “C” happened (which aren’t even “bombing”), did the pessimistic thinking lower my disappointment? Or did it strengthen the sense of accomplishment with the “A” grades? I don’t think it made a difference. I knew I was going to do well enough regardless. However, it’s a deeply engrained pattern for me. And I still find myself doing this type of “negative-expectations-thinking” sometimes.
It’s not a helpful pattern. Generally speaking, it’s better to have high expectations for ourselves in the areas that matter to us. Different things matter to different people, so I may have high expectations in an area that you don’t give a hoot about…and vice versa.
The caveat with high expectations is that we don’t “beat ourselves up” when we try and fail. Failure is an evitable part of life. If we play it safe and never challenge ourselves, we might never fail. And we’ll also never soar. In addition, self compassion should always be at the forefront.
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This all reminds me of the famous Henry Ford quote:
“Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right.”
~ Henry Ford
A couple of similar quotes I found through a quick Google search:
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Of course, it’s not quite that simplistic. I don’t believe I can manifest a lottery win or an all expenses paid trip to Bali. On a global level, problems like poverty, racism, war, and climate change can’t be changed by having a better attitude or mindset. We have to do something. AND yet - the start is to think about the actions (big or small) we can take that are aligned with our values.
We can hope.
We have to hope.
And perhaps that’s the central message after all. Cultivating hope and gratitude in our thoughts shapes not only our own lives but also the lives of everyone we meet.
I admit, it can be difficult. I admit, I often miss the mark.
Still, we can keep trying.
As much as we can, let’s give it try.
With care,
Mary
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I captured the photos below this morning.
On the first, you’ll see the a little “island” or sandbar in the Milwaukee River.
In the second you’ll see that someone wrote the message “take time” with sticks on the sandbar.
Take time.
Now that’s a sign for us all.
A message to remember during these last few weeks of the year.
As always, a lovely read. I think I love reading your writing because it resonates. Because I think similarly. I think part of the human condition is that we don't want to feel alone so when we connect with others who have the same thoughts, it makes us feel validated. Thanks so much for your weekly missives. I look forward to being reminded that I am not alone.