At the beginning of this year, I changed from writing here weekly to twice a month (on the first and third Sundays). It had been my routine to publish a newsletter (almost) every week. I decided that I wanted to focus some of my writing energy elsewhere, so I changed the routine. Have I actually focused that writing energy elsewhere? Not really, or at least not yet.
Oh, well. Things change. I’ve certainly written a lot about the inevitability of change. Probably because I’m always struggling to accept all of the changes!
One change I don’t have trouble accepting is the arrival of spring. Sure, there’s a chance of snow in tomorrow’s forecast. Note to self: remember to make my own weather regardless of what I see out the window when I wake up. Still, the days are longer and buds are appearing on trees and the crocuses are blooming all over the neighborhood.
Five weeks ago, in “Do the things,” I wrote about the things I planned to do. One of the things is training for a half marathon.
Then in March, a bad head cold had me in bed for two full days and sluggish for almost ten days. I skipped nearly a week of running and wondered if I could get back to speed. I haven’t necessarily gotten back to speed, but I’m doing the distances and should be able to complete the half marathon. I could be mad that I got sick. I could be mad that it changed my routine and my training plans. But how would that help?
Routines change. Even rules change. And that can be good.
I’m not talking about laws, like driving on the right side of the road or stopping at a red light. I’m not talking about rejecting regulations or community standards. I’m not advocating for anarchy.
I’m thinking about the unspoken and unwritten rules that we have been conditioned to believe or have made up for ourselves, but which no longer serve us or don’t make sense anymore.
Religions and cultures and societies and familial groups have all sorts of rules, whether explicitly stated or implicitly understood.
One “rule” that most people agree on is the Golden Rule, which is to treat others as you would like to be treated. Some variation of this concept is present in many cultures, religions, and traditions because it’s a good rule. (Sadly, some of our “leaders” seem to have forgotten this particular rule these days.)
Other rules make less sense. Or are arbitrary or outdated.
People tell themselves they’re not creative or they’re clumsy or they’re “bad at math.” Attitudes formed in childhood or adolescence become rules that govern people’s lives. That prevent them from being who they are meant to be or doing what they would like to do.
As I’ve been pondering rules these past few days, I’ve also been thinking of poetry. After all, April is National Poetry Month. Last April in “On poetry,” I wrote about becoming more interested in poetry when I taught it to children. An easy entry into poetry for children is poetry that has rules. Like acrostic poems or haiku or limerick.
Rules can be good. They can be a starting point, a launching pad. Rules can gives us the comfort of working within certain confines and constraints, as long as freedom isn’t displaced.
Rules can also be inaccurate or outdated or irrelevant. Beliefs and traditions can become rigid rules that don’t allow for flexibility or change.
We don’t have to do things the way we’ve always done them. We don’t have to do things the way others do them or think they should be done, if we don’t agree or if that doesn’t work for us.
Or, if we want to do something new, then we can make a new rule.
We can become an artist or an activist or a leader or a runner or “good at math” if that’s what we want to be or do.
We can think outside the box or color outside the lines or march to the beat of our own drums.
We can nurture individuality in community.
We can make our own rules.
With care and gratitude,
Mary
P.S. Thanks for reading my rambling post. I thought I might not publish anything today. And then I remembered - there are no rules about rambling or not rambling. There are no rules about publishing or not publishing on my platform. People can read it or not. People can like it or not.
P.P.S. I didn’t write today about any of the continuing “stuff” that’s going on around the world right now this time. We’re still bogged down by it all. There’ve been tiny bits of good news lately. And also lots of bad news. With that, I’ll share a bit from “Hope and courage.”
There’s much we can’t control. There are things we can change. There are ways to resist. How do we fortify ourselves to work for change?
As many have been saying, community and joy are key.
May we connect to our communities to comfort and inspire us.
May we cultivate meaningful rituals to ground and sustain us.
May we find awe and joy in our daily routines to bolster and energize us.
And, nourished by all of these, may we act to create a better world for all beings.
I am currently reading the book, Happiness is an Inside Job. Your comments: " I could be mad that I got sick. I could be mad that it changed my routine and my training plans. But how would that help?" echoed what I had read. She talks on this topic at some length. Summed up as: "This isn't what I wanted, but it's what I got" is the point at which suffering disappears. It certainly isn't always easy to flow with unfortunate events, but it sure feels better when we are able to. Happy training!