After publishing my post on Spaciousness last Sunday, I continued to think about the topic. Common themes throughout my newsletter are mindfulness, savoring, and not buying into the busyness of life. Spaciousness is related to all of these.
We often think that getting through tasks quickly is optimum. We believe that if we complete chores or obligations quickly, then we’ll somehow have more free time. Efficiency and productivity are prominent goals in our culture.
The paradox is that rushing through tasks, rushing through life, rushing to react, generally rushing - all of these typically create more a feeling of chaos than calm and can leave us open to mistakes or even regrets.
If we operate on autopilot or rush from one activity or task to another, we’re not present or mindful to what’s happening or to what we’re doing or to who we’re with.
I wish I’d integrated this attitude earlier in life. Certainly, there were times or seasons in my life in which I was more on autopilot, in which I was rushing through tasks or obligations, in which I reacted without pausing and thinking.
None of us are who we were, and none of us are yet completely who we will be. Spaciousness of mind and time can allow us to see that, to imagine the possibilities. To view life - even in its chaos and messiness and uncertainty - with a sense of expansiveness and abundance.
Breathe deep.
Pause.
Slow down.
Take time.
Likewise - in conversation, we can cultivate spaciousness. We don’t always have to immediately answer. We don’t have to rush to react. We can listen. We can pause. A nod or a “yes” or an “um-hum” may be all that’s required.
I’m feeling a sense of spaciousness just from writing these words.
I hope you feel that from reading them.
And I hope you find some spaciousness in the days ahead.
It can be simple as:
pausing to close your eyes and take a deep breath
stopping to admire the summer flowers blooming in your neighborhood
slipping off your shoes and walking barefoot in the grass
sitting in silence with a friend
*****
Thanks for reading!
With care and gratitude,
Mary
As I prepare myself to return to the rhythm of the school year I remind myself : Go slow to go fast. and, Less is more. These are affirmations I use to mitigate the demands of the outer world. In reality, I think, for me, what needs training is my inner world. I am cultivating a spaciousness inside myself. I am cultivating a vast resource of enduing calm and of calm enduring in order to meet each moment with a open and capacious heart and mind. I am cultivating the ability to be present with each arising moment without the baggage of the past or the future and without the baggage of expectations for outcomes. Making my best effort, the best I know how in this moment, with joy and gratitude. This is, for me, a very spacious way to live. Aspirational.
Amen, Amen, Amen! I totally agree: We believe that if we complete chores or obligations quickly, then we’ll somehow have more free time. And yet, there is never enough time. And I love that you say that the rushing only leads to more of a feeling of chaos. YES! I often overthink (😒😜) and I try to figure out when these shifts happened because I don't feel like I always lived in this rushed, overstimulated space. For me, I think I fell victim to this when I started working full time. I miss the cocoon of being a stay at home mom. I feel like I had more control of my life and schedule and I paid less attention to the world. When I started working, I added work to my plate but nothing got taken off my plate and so the hamster wheel took off in overdrive! But, I also definitely agree that this fast pace is culture driven. I see it in the people I surround myself with and we often talk about it. Putting my PAUSE button to use much more these days.