Many years ago, I read the book The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less by Barry Schwartz. It resonated deeply with me. Choice is overall a good thing. We are each of us different beings, and choice allows us to live in ways that fit our unique existence. At the same time, too many options can be overwhelming. No one really needs 50 brands or types of shampoo from which to choose. As I recall, that was an example from the book. Another example - part of the widespread appeal of shopping at Aldi is that its smaller size and more streamlined selection are less overwhelming than larger supermarkets.
Likewise, in writing classes and groups, I’ve become familiar with creative “constraints.”
Some definitions of “constraint” from Merriam Webster:
the state of being checked, restricted or compelled to avoid or perform some action
a constraining condition, agency, or force
It’s a word that may have some negative connotations. However, a restriction - or limited number of choices - can be freeing. It can even push us to look at things in a different way. In writing, it could mean using a specific format or point of view, or responding to a prompt. Some of my favorite writing has emerged from exercises like that. The the humorous “8 Guaranteed Ways To Annoy Your Teen” (published on Scary Mommy) resulted from an assignment that specified list form. The poem “Seen and Unseen” (published in this newsletter) was inspired by a writing prompt.
Constraints or limits are helpful in many areas. A decluttering project can loom as an overwhelming item on the to-do list. But by choosing one drawer or one cabinet at a time, it feels more doable. If I promise myself I’m going to get on the treadmill for just 15 minutes first thing in the morning, I’m more motivated to do it. And often, once there, I stay longer. I’ve also used limits for a variety of projects, by restricting the amount of time or size or price or number of items or colors or whatnot. A reasonable limit or constraint often helps with forward momentum.
More broadly speaking, limits can also refer to boundaries. Both limits and boundaries are especially relevant at this time of year. There’s too much that we could be doing. Too many events and gifts and ideas and obligations and projects and recipes and traditions. They may all be “good” things, but that doesn’t mean we can or should do them all. It’s important to set limits and boundaries that make sense and amplify the spirit of the season.
Speaking of limits, I started later than I’d hoped with this week’s newsletter. It’s time to sign off for today.
I hope this made you think of ways that “less is more” in your own life. If you feel inclined, please comment with helpful limits or boundaries you’ve set.
Thanks for reading!
Gratefully,
Mary
P.S. Did you see last week’s newsletter? I had a milestone birthday and wrote about aging. Please check out “This is 55,” if you haven’t already.
I totally relate. Whenever I am tackling a large project, I have learned to break it into chunks. I often set a timer or listen to music and keep track of how many songs or just til the CD ends to signal that I have spent enough time on the project. Sometimes I get in a groove and ignore the timer and keep going. Sometimes, it is a welcome signal to step away from the project and do something that fills my cup. This helps me balance work and rest. For far too long, the endless to do list ran my life and I rarely took the time to sit down and rest - watch a show, read a book, take a bath, take a nap, eat that snack, enjoy a cup of coffee. As my lovely sister reminds me often, if I have completed just ONE thing, I have done enough.