“Aging is an extraordinary process whereby you become the person you always should have been.” ~ David Bowie
Aging is not especially celebrated in Western culture. While other cultures positively acknowledge aging and honor elders, ours typically does not.
I wrote a bit about this in “Sowing seeds” a couple of weeks ago. I’m consistently drawn to the topic. Some of my poems have celebratory notes around aging, for example “Seen and unseen” and “Stronger.” Eight years ago, I wrote a “This is 47” post on my blog. And I’ve been playing around with the concept again now that I’ve reached my 55th birthday. Here’s my offering for today…
***
This is 55
55 is my back still hurts
and now also my knees.
55 is scars from Moh’s surgery
and a hole in my mouth
where a dental implant will be.
55 is increasing lines around
my mouth and eyes.
55 is feeling more
physical limitations.
AND also…
55 is an entirely more
expansive and flexible mind.
55 is acknowledging
limited time and also
SO many possibilities.
55 is giving fewer fucks,
it’s caring less about
what other people think.
55 is dancing with abandon
and singing that way too.
55 is laughing deeply
from the belly, and
55 is crying unabashedly
both with profound sadness
and with overflowing joy.
55 is hope for my grown children
who I adored even before
I knew them.
55 is I made some parenting
missteps, undoubtedly, and so
I admit and apologize and
wish for them so much.
I admire and and love them
beyond measure.
55 is a whole host of beloved
family and friendships,
with ups and downs,
with happiness and history,
with celebrations and complications,
and an enduring love.
55 is I’ve definitely made
some mistakes along the way.
55 is accepting and integrating
the past, forgiving myself
and others, and moving
beyond and forward too.
55 is vulnerability, and the
fear and connection that
comes along the way.
55 is over the expectations
of others, and it’s saying
“no” again and again to
what doesn’t align.
55 is a hearty “no thanks”
to the various lists of
100 books to read before you die,
100 places you have to visit,
10 ways to dress when you’re over 50.
I have my own lists, dreams,
desires, hopes, and
I will live for those.
55 is saying YES to what
is for me and my life.
We are none of us perfect,
and yet here we are,
amazingly alive right now.
55 is tired,
55 is exhilarated,
55 is expected,
55 is surprising.
55 is all that has been,
and all that could still be.
***
Let’s celebrate ourselves and each other, friends.
There’s much in this world to bring us down, and there always will be.
Let’s lift each other up.
Let’s tell our people we love and appreciate them.
Let’s say all the good things to ourselves and to each other while we can.
I appreciate YOU!
Thanks for reading.
Gratefully,
Mary
***
My favorite line: 55 is giving fewer fucks
I do have to say that at this stage in life I care less, but I also care more. I care less about all the "stuff" and the expectations, and I care more about myself. I did a workshop with a friend and have adopted my life's motto as LIVE SIMPLY. It is the simple things that give me the most joy. I need less stuff, less things to do, less responsibility. There is freedom in less.
Isn’t it wonderful to find the grace in aging? Love your thoughts as you turn 55.