Last week I received two rejection emails on submissions for publication (both online journals). I wasn’t surprised about one of them, as I had a feeling the piece I submitted was not the best fit for that publication. I had higher hopes for the other submission, however, and it was really disappointing to receive the rejection. On the positive side, the editor of the journal shared some kind and encouraging words, which doesn’t happen often with rejection emails.
We all have things that we attempt with varying success - hobbies, health goals, work tasks, home projects, and other challenges of various kinds. We’re not robots. We try. And sometimes we miss.
The default reaction to a failure or rejection or disappointment might be to give up that particular goal or pivot in a different direction. And sometimes that’s appropriate, depending on the situation. It all depends. Or maybe it’s best to keep trying.
When I left teaching, I applied for over 30 non-teaching jobs. Changing careers in your 50s is not for the faint of heart. It requires humility, stamina, and tenacity. Eventually, with some compromises, I landed a new job. Through all of that and through learning a whole new type of work, I’ve realized some things about myself and about life/work that are, or will be, helpful moving forward.
That’s not to say that every experience has a silver lining or lesson. Some disappointments are just that. And so, we grieve the disappointment or loss. We incorporate it, as necessary, and move forward. Changed.
As always, the natural world has a lot to teach us about that. We had a snowstorm on Friday here in Milwaukee. The intermittent warmer days teased us, and yet winter was not done. Earlier in the week, I shared this tiny poem on social media.
The tiny poem was timely. First, because it matched the wide-ranging March weather. And second, because people (per their comments) enjoyed it. A reminder about acceptance and redirection. A reminder that the things we do can have an impact in our smaller circles, whether recognized more widely or not.
That’s not to say I won’t keep trying to submit my writing elsewhere. Just because something isn’t a fit for a particular publication doesn’t mean it’s not a fit elsewhere. And that’s the redirection part.
May we remember that we each bloom in our own time and in our own way. May we find redirection when we can. And may we remember, regardless, as the great Maya Angelou said:
“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.”
***
Acceptance
Redirection
Hope
Again and again and again
Thanks for reading!
With gratitude,
Mary
Hi Mary!
Disappointment. Feels like more discomfort. Getting comfortable with disappointment and discomfort. Today disappointment is making me think of self compassion and Kristin Neff, Chris Germer, and the Center for Mindful Self Compassion. I dug up this sequence of phrases that capture my compassionate voice:
This is hard. This hurts.
All people suffer/have pain/disappointment.
I give myself what I need. I accept myself as I am.
I memorized the phrases for a self compassion class I was taking in 2020 but really haven't needed them. They feel more helpful now than they did at the time.
It helps to Realize that my mere presence, with nothing added, is of value.
A friend was telling me about a relative (granddaughter?) who has applied to 12 colleges and has been receiving a series of rejections. The wording of the rejections seems very harsh. She said some thing to the effect - after thoroughly reviewing your application and giving it deep consideration we feel you are not the ideal candidate for (name of school). The relative is, understandably, feeling some stabs of pain.
Your words at the end of the post: Again and again and again.
Begin again. Keep going. Keep moving. Beginner's mind. Stay. Allow. Accept. Be open and receptive. Focus on questions not answers. The world needs you.
So great to engage with all the thoughts you have shared today - and for me, most especially, the gem of a poem revisited. :-)
Cheers!