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Janis's avatar

I loved this today. I definitely should admire more. I often fall into a trap of noticing things I don't like, especially when I have no power to "fix" it. It is so important to look for the good, admire it, and share the admiration with others. When you wrote about sharing with others the things you admire about them or the good work they do....I thought of M, who always announced, " good job" when he does something he likes. It's so heartwarming.

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Mary Krawczyk's avatar

Thanks, Janis! And thanks for sharing about M - that's so sweet.

Also, I've been copying my buttons from previous posts into new posts thinking that was a short cut, but then the button links to the wrong post. Ugh! I'm learning. I'm going to copy your comment and my response into today's post.

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Michelle P Karon's avatar

Another great read! This resonated with me, especially the line about plants needing "space to grow." You reminded me that the basics are necessary (and not a given) and that all levels on the pyramid require intentional attention and maintenance. Whether focusing on individuals, families, communities, or global environments, we all play a role in shaping the spaces that facilitate growth.

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Mary Krawczyk's avatar

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Michelle! The bottom line is what I didn't say explicitly, but you expressed well: "...we all play a role in shaping the spaces that facilitate growth."

I'm tired of so many people being focused primarily on their own personal "success" (ie. material wealth). There's little sense of community or mutuality in many spaces.

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Lynn Charnitz's avatar

I needed this today. Thank you!

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Mary Krawczyk's avatar

Thanks for reading, Lynn! Glad it helped. :)

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Lori Fetzer's avatar

Opting out of the Pain Olympics was too intriguing to pass up! Thanks for sharing that gem.

Pain seems to be the theme of the day today for me. I read a chapter in the book Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home by Toko-pa Turner called Pain as sacred Ally. A few nuggets I picked up (not about listening in relationship to others but about listening in relationship to pain) were:

To create meaning from adversity

To offer kindness and affection toward pain

To show up empty-handed and still know you are lovable

My own little bit of experience is that people often apologize for sharing their pain or thank me for listening if they know I myself am experiencing difficulty, even if in this particular conversation I am not sharing it. I believe this is act of acknowledgement is "holding space." It is the persons ability to recognize that pain is universal. We share this as humans. We can relate. The person makes space and allows for another's experience of pain.

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Mary Krawczyk's avatar

Thanks for sharing, Lori.

I really like how you framed this - "It is the person's ability to recognize that pain is universal. We share this as humans. We can relate. The person makes space and allows for another's experience of pain." *Allows* is the key word. As opposed to diminishes or denies.

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