Opting out of the Pain Olympics was too intriguing to pass up! Thanks for sharing that gem.
Pain seems to be the theme of the day today for me. I read a chapter in the book Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home by Toko-pa Turner called Pain as sacred Ally. A few nuggets I picked up (not about listening in relationship to others but about listening in relationship to pain) were:
To create meaning from adversity
To offer kindness and affection toward pain
To show up empty-handed and still know you are lovable
My own little bit of experience is that people often apologize for sharing their pain or thank me for listening if they know I myself am experiencing difficulty, even if in this particular conversation I am not sharing it. I believe this is act of acknowledgement is "holding space." It is the persons ability to recognize that pain is universal. We share this as humans. We can relate. The person makes space and allows for another's experience of pain.
I really like how you framed this - "It is the person's ability to recognize that pain is universal. We share this as humans. We can relate. The person makes space and allows for another's experience of pain." *Allows* is the key word. As opposed to diminishes or denies.
I needed this today. Thank you!
Thanks for reading, Lynn! Glad it helped. :)
Opting out of the Pain Olympics was too intriguing to pass up! Thanks for sharing that gem.
Pain seems to be the theme of the day today for me. I read a chapter in the book Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home by Toko-pa Turner called Pain as sacred Ally. A few nuggets I picked up (not about listening in relationship to others but about listening in relationship to pain) were:
To create meaning from adversity
To offer kindness and affection toward pain
To show up empty-handed and still know you are lovable
My own little bit of experience is that people often apologize for sharing their pain or thank me for listening if they know I myself am experiencing difficulty, even if in this particular conversation I am not sharing it. I believe this is act of acknowledgement is "holding space." It is the persons ability to recognize that pain is universal. We share this as humans. We can relate. The person makes space and allows for another's experience of pain.
Thanks for sharing, Lori.
I really like how you framed this - "It is the person's ability to recognize that pain is universal. We share this as humans. We can relate. The person makes space and allows for another's experience of pain." *Allows* is the key word. As opposed to diminishes or denies.