Interesting thoughts have been swirling since last week’s post “Discomfort.” It’s a topic that’s ripe for contemplation. In addition to comments on the post, people reached out via text or email or in face-to-face conversations about the theme. It’s part of our common humanity that we experience pain, suffering, and discomfort in a variety of ways.
We have a tendency to want to deny this. I know I’ve tried to hope that all will be clear and smooth sailing, despite knowing that’s unrealistic and untrue.
It’s uncomfortable to admit our feelings. To feel them. To share them. For it means sharing a part of ourselves. Some want to deny the reality of suffering and discomfort that’s happening in real time. I suppose they think it’s somehow stronger and better to do so. Unfortunately, those feelings usually show up in other ways. In attempts to control, to suppress, to escape.
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Another thought is that discomfort arises from differences. I was having this conversation with some friends recently. We can experience discomfort when people chose a different path. It makes us question our own choices, perhaps. Some people seem to feel particularly threatened by differences. And that can give rise to judgment and rejection and even (unfortunately) to bias and discrimination.
Or just avoidance. I recently was going through some of my writing. I scanned some articles that I wrote for Home Education Magazine in 2013 and 2014. It was fun to reread the articles. It’s not necessarily my best writing, but the articles beautifully capture that time in our family life. I’m glad to have a record of the memories.
It can be uncomfortable to do something in a different way, both for those who make the choice and for those around them. Homeschooling was wonderful for us, and also it’s not a choice that makes sense for everyone. There were challenges, as there will be with anything. We had a great group of homeschooling friends, and that was essential in making it work.
At the same time, during this period of homeschooling, I remember having conversations with people in which I asked them about their children and school and activities. And there was no reciprocation. No “how’s homeschooling going?” No “what are your kids learning about now?”
Perhaps it was just bad conversation skills. I’ll never know for sure. The lack of interest never caused me to waiver in my conviction that we were doing what was right for us.
And I think that’s the main point. As I mentioned in last week’s post:
Sometimes discomfort is about what we do want.
Sometimes it’s about doing something different or something new.
Sometimes it’s about change. Even the changes we want to make can be difficult and uncomfortable.
We may have discomfort around some of our choices, and perhaps others will too. Still, it’s our one life to live. May we live it true to ourselves. Discomfort and all.
Thanks for reading!
With gratitude,
Mary
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