Releasing
loosening up and letting go with curiosity & spontaneity
It’s been about a month since I last wrote here in “May musings: revisiting disappointment and rejection.” May was a busy month in a variety of ways, and I decided to let go of the idea of writing my second post of the month.
Now it’s the first day of June. I’ve written repeatedly about the fresh start effect - here and here, for example. A new month can be time for a fresh start. We’re always beginning - again and again. The first day of the month, combined with some actual spring-like weather where I live (finally!), underscores for me a sense of renewal. It seems like a good time to both let go and to welcome in.
At my request, my family bought me a Little Free Library for Mother’s Day. I’ve wanted one for a while. In the ongoing process of decluttering and rearranging at our house, I set aside a box of books culled from overstuffed shelves. I’ve enjoyed collecting books over the years, and our family has accumulated many. I tend to consider books as more “worthwhile” collectibles than tchotchkes or other decorative items. However, books are still things.
Books can certainly be an attractive decorative item. On social media, I’ve seen photos of books arranged on shelves by color. It looks beautiful. Books can have sentimental value. I’m saving a few boxes of children’s books, mostly picture books, that mean a lot to our family. I hope someday I might read them to my grandchildren. I have a hardcover set of Jane Austen’s complete novels that my husband gave me early in our relationship. I’ll keep those. They’re pretty books and have sentimental value, plus I tend to reread Austen’s novels every couple of years. There are a few other novels, short story collections, and inspirational books that I regularly reread. I’ll keep those too.
I have many other books that I enjoyed or that meant a lot to me at a certain point, but that I don’t intend to read again. Although I mostly get books from the library, I occasionally purchase a novel to take on a trip or buy a newly-released book that has a long holds list at the library. Some books have been gifts or otherwise passed along by a friend or family member. Regardless, at this point in my life, I’ve come to the conclusion that if I don’t think I’ll read a book again, I’m going to give it away. That’s what works for me. Putting the books into my Little Free Library makes the process of releasing them so much more fun.
I enjoy putting a variety of books in the little house and seeing how quickly (or not) they get chosen. For books I’ve liked or loved, I’m excited for someone else to get the chance to read them. For the books I maybe didn’t enjoy as much, I hope they’ll fall into the hands of someone who might appreciate them more than I did. And I also get to see what others put back into the library.
It makes me think of the bigger concept of releasing what we no longer need and how satisfying that can be.
I’ve learned more and more as I age, to both hold onto things more loosely and even to let them go.
These things can be possessions or expectations or perceptions. It can be “the way things used to be” or “that’s the way we’ve always done it.”
What about holding those ideas loosely? What about releasing them?
Most of what we encounter in this world - people and places and things - we cannot control. Just ourselves.
I’ve also been pondering how letting go relates to spontaneity. My husband and I recently were on a road trip that included visiting family in one state and attending a family wedding in another state. These can be the best sort of trips - mini-adventures even - particularly if they’re not especially planned or scheduled.
The spontaneity enhances the experience. The spontaneity of pulling a book off my shelves to put into my Little Free Library. The spontaneity of hitting the road without planning out each detail of the trip. The spontaneity of visiting a new city, having only a loose idea of what to do, and navigating more with curiosity than with expectation.
In my last post, I wrote about discovering the writer David Whyte. I checked out his book Consolations from the library and have been reading some of the essays. There’s one about Rome, a city I’ve never been to and possibly will never see. However, I’ve been to other “old” places, other ruins of bygone civilizations. I was struck specifically in the essay by the phrase - “our too specific hopes.” Ah, yes, Our hopes are often very specific. Even unnecessarily so. I know mine often are.
Here’s a bit more of the passage that contains that phrase:
“…Our possible future is made strangely beautiful by the privilege of walking amidst the decay and disappearance of so many past futures, as if we are being forgiven already for our too specific hopes when the general beautifying hand of time puts everything into such a multi-layered and satisfyingly unspecific perspective. “
I find this writing so resonant and even comforting when I think about the unpredictability of our world and about our inability to control much of what happens around us.
“so many past futures”
“our too specific hopes”
“a multi-layered and satisfyingly unspecific perspective”
Interestingly, I just did a keyword search on my newsletter and found that I wrote about “Expectations” a bit over a year ago and touched on some of the same themes I’ve written about today. I even took many of the same photos in my garden - lilacs, wild geraniums, peony buds.
Yet while my garden is blooming in similar ways this year as it did a year ago, life in general has taken unexpected turns in the past year. Some unexpected things were sad or disappointing. Others were exciting or joyful. And every other emotion in between. Unexpected things happened personally and locally and globally.
That’s life. Again and again.
And so, again and again…
Let’s try to hold on more loosely to the way we think things should be.
Let’s try to release and let go, sometimes with grief and sometimes with gladness.
Let’s try to welcome life’s daily turns with curiosity and spontaneity when we can.
With care and gratitude,
Mary
The Little Free Library was a great gift idea! I can imagine how fun it is to see what comes and goes. Next time I am in town, I may just bring a few items to add. :)