This is 55

reflections on aging

“Aging is an extraordinary process whereby you become the person you always should have been.” ~ David Bowie

Aging is not especially celebrated in Western culture. While other cultures positively acknowledge aging and honor elders, ours typically does not.

I wrote a bit about this in “Sowing seeds” a couple of weeks ago. I’m consistently drawn to the topic. Some of my poems have celebratory notes around aging, for example “Seen and unseen” and “Stronger.” Eight years ago, I wrote a “This is 47” post on my blog. And I’ve been playing around with the concept again now that I’ve reached my 55th birthday. Here’s my offering for today…

***

This is 55

55 is my back still hurts

and now also my knees.

55 is scars from Moh’s surgery

and a hole in my mouth

where a dental implant will be.

55 is increasing lines around

my mouth and eyes.

55 is feeling more

physical limitations.

AND also…

55 is an entirely more

expansive and flexible mind.

55 is acknowledging

limited time and also

SO many possibilities.

55 is giving fewer fucks,

it’s caring less about

what other people think.

55 is dancing with abandon

and singing that way too.

55 is laughing deeply

from the belly, and

55 is crying unabashedly

both with profound sadness

and with overflowing joy.

55 is hope for my grown children

who I adored even before

I knew them.

55 is I made some parenting

missteps, undoubtedly, and so

I admit and apologize and

wish for them so much.

I admire and and love them

beyond measure.

55 is a whole host of beloved

family and friendships,

with ups and downs,

with happiness and history,

with celebrations and complications,

and an enduring love.

55 is I’ve definitely made

some mistakes along the way.

55 is accepting and integrating

the past, forgiving myself

and others, and moving

beyond and forward too.

55 is vulnerability, and the

fear and connection that

comes along the way.

55 is over the expectations

of others, and it’s saying

“no” again and again to

what doesn’t align.

55 is a hearty “no thanks”

to the various lists of

100 books to read before you die,

100 places you have to visit,

10 ways to dress when you’re over 50.

I have my own lists, dreams,

desires, hopes, and

I will live for those.

55 is saying YES to what

is for me and my life.

We are none of us perfect,

and yet here we are,

amazingly alive right now.

55 is tired,

55 is exhilarated,

55 is expected,

55 is surprising.

55 is all that has been,

and all that could still be.

***

Let’s celebrate ourselves and each other, friends.

There’s much in this world to bring us down, and there always will be.

Let’s lift each other up.

Let’s tell our people we love and appreciate them.

Let’s say all the good things to ourselves and to each other while we can.

I appreciate YOU!

Thanks for reading.

Gratefully,

Mary

***